Pandemic Year
It stopped moving,
the seconds pendulum in my parents
’ grandfather clock.
When was that? ….
I am confused as ?)aren’t you(?
I sit here looking
facing the glass
bay doors to the
clock of my world
Home
more than not
(…except when…)
I have watched the sun
pendulum from one side of the world
and back
and I just don’t know
their clock has not worked since…what?…the 80s?
and this now, then, is…
when?
the sun has not stopped singing blazes
and this now, then, is…
what?
the pendulum’s out of phase
and this now, then, is…
who?
six months is one second is six months
is
one
second
a half swing a full swing
a guillotine of time
you (could) see it coming down
like a mountain falling
like mounting the fall
so much frantic scrambling beneath
yet it appears frozen (the mountain? … the scrambling? … the mounting?)
or cooked solid
that 6/1 a cold/heat
that is how a glacier forms
carves and thaws
with a single swing
back and
forth
wait…
what?
can the organ of me
filter
so many…
process
so much…
what?
Impurity?
no
a sublimated condensation of time
no
a distillation of life
a too pure distillate of the disobedient world
this is no moonshine (it is too pure?)
perhaps: it is starshine direct?
yes
wait…
what?
what is this chemistry?
a little mRNA in the arm
and
I am making bad jokes
intoxicated
(not poisoned?)
then-now
auf einmal: opportunities
too sudden-too late
out of praise
or was it…
out of…
(immeasurable,
the period of my)
looking-over-my-shoulder-looking-ahead
hollow
or was it…
hallo(w)
we are children anew newborns
bloodily birthed
some of us
orphaned
So lebe ich, so leben wir
now-then what do you say?
what do you say––
slowly: now-then
what do you say––
––
––
let us play
(but who will call us in for supper?)
let us play
(but…)
hör auf mit den buts
let us play
(!!!)
let us play